abearwithpants

I dialed the home phone number and a lady picks up, saying hello.

I growled at her.

The lady said, no one by that name lives here.

I growled at her.

The lady said, look buddy, this is harrassment, don't call here again.

I growled at her.

She hung up on me.

I redialed the home number and a gentleman picks up.

I growled at him.

He said, I'm calling the RCMP.

I growled at him.

The man said, fuck you asshole, you want me to come there and kick your teeth in?

I growled at him.

He hung up on me.

I redialed the home number and the answering machine picked up.

I growled at it.

The moral of the story is:

Bears suck at any kind of telephone oriented job.

I'm sunburned. At no point during our entire venture to the beach did I agree to be sunburned. Unacceptable.

It's now time to make up for what I missed yesterday.

I don't know which is more painful.

Why couldn't I have been born a woman? Granted, I am amazing, but it all seems like a waste without being able to have you. I'd give it all up. Hairy back, facial hair, writing my name in the snow, not having to shave my legs, and testosterone induced aggression. I'd give it all up if only the operations weren't so freaking expensive.